Me on doing this pointless thing again

The story so far:

Last time I posted on this blog it was April 2010, and we were still being governed by Gordon Brown and his bunch of great guys. I think they were called the Happiness Party and they were definitely all really cool and had long hair and played in bands, and we all wanted to sleep with them. It was brilliant - the economy was flourishing, houses were affordable and the best-selling topless photo calendar for five years running was the Ed Balls one... but it wasn't to last. On May 6th, we had a general election, and a mere two months later a new Government was formed out of some old bicycle parts, a haunted filing cabinet and a dash of evil. And then the Queen and John Bercow brought it to life with some jump leads during a thunderstorm. [Can someone fact-check this entire paragraph please?]

Approximately three lifetimes ago

Anyway, whatever happened, we're in a right bloody state now. There's another general election in nine, ten months or thereabouts - yesterday's cabinet reshuffle brought that thrilling fact into sharp focus - and if we're going to vote (hahaha, "if"), we need ill-informed celebrity help now less than ever. But let's ask for it anyway.

If you see any famous humans offering their opinions on the welfare state, the crumbling NHS, or what we should do about Farage, give me a shout. Incidentally, Farage himself technically still counts as a politician, not a celeb, and is therefore barred. No opinions from him, please - anyway, I'm sure the BBC will inform us every time he idly flaps open his gaping maw to dribble out another trickle of warm, soupy racism.

(An aside: I've just been sifting through my old posts - wow, can you believe there was a time when I had to explain to my readers who Ed Miliband was? Ha ha ha... sorry, what? I said Ed Miliband. He's the leader of the opposition now. No, not that one - the other one. ED MILIBAND. Oh good grief.)

So, right, LET'S GET THIS THING (re-)STARTED. Let's TEAR DOWN THIS SHITTY SYSTEM, ONE BLOG POST AT A TIME. Does anyone need to go to the toilet before we set off? Where are my keys?

Sarah Cawood and Mz Bratt on the National Bullying Helpline

So, Sarah Cawood has resigned from her post as patron of the National Bullying Helpline. When I reported this yesterday, I hoped that she'd release a statement. The Press Association has quoted her thus:

"In light of the recent events where confidential phone calls were made public,
I feel it is no longer a campaign with which I would like my name to be
associated."

It's not much, but it's better than nothing.

In weirder news, the only "patron" of the charity not to have made a big song and dance about leaving has been Mz Bratt... who is a singer, apparently. (I'm 29). Her name appears last on the National Bullying Helpline website's list of patrons, but her management is denying that she is one, or has ever been one. Bratt herself is claiming (on her Twitter feed) that media enquiries about the scandal have come completely out of the blue.

*Scratches chin*. Hmmmm... anyone would think there was something dodgy going on.

Sarah Cawood on Brown's "bullying"

You probably know that the last few days have seen Gordon Brown accused of bullying his staff. Since these allegations have surfaced, Christine Pratt of the National Bullying Helpline has been speaking to the media about her charity receiving "three or four" calls from Brown's staff.

This piece by Ben Goldacre addresses some of the reasons why Christine Pratt and the National Bullying Helpline shouldn't necessarily be trusted. For one thing, the charity isn't exactly politically unbiased - there are quotes from David Cameron and Ann Widdecombe on the website's homepage, for instance. And it seems more than a little strange that such a tiny charity should have received so many calls from one workplace.

Pratt is unafraid to breach the confidentiality of her callers by revealing who their employers are, but hides behind her so-called privacy policy in her many interviews now that she's out of her depth.

"Why does this have anything to do with Sarah Cawood?", I hear you ask. Well, the delightful TV presenter (and part-time actor - she was in Velvet Goldmine with Ewan McGregor) has been patron of the National Bullying Helpline since August 2009.

She probably joined the charity because she thought it represented a good cause, and perhaps bullying has affected her own life. But she was incredibly quick to take action on this: her PR has just announced that she has stepped down as patron. This may or may not have anything to do with her political opinions - it could be about her own image - but it shows that she doesn't agree with the charity's actions, and that's definitely a good thing. Well done, Sarah.

Let's hope she backs up her decision with a statement soon - if she feels she has enough influence to represent a charity in the media, she should be equally happy to set a good example by speaking out when that charity does something she disapproves of.