Peta Todd on finding a polling station

My attention has been drawn to another little video made by Radio 1's Newsbeat - like the "what would you do if you were PM?" video but more mental. It stars "Page 3 stunnah" Peta Todd (the above photo was the only suitable one I could find) and it tells first-time voters how to vote.

I am not complaining about the idea of this. Encouraging young people to vote is good, as I believe I've mentioned before. Presumably the keywords "23-year-old glamour model video" will get a lot of young men to pay attention, although perhaps not for long.

The instructions themselves, though, are ridiculous. Not only does Peta guide us through a website where we can register to vote without giving the actual name of the organisation or the site's URL, she also doesn't really seem to understand how one finds one's polling station. And I quote...

"On election day, keep your eyes peeled for big signs like this that say
'polling station' [points to sheet of paper saying POLLING STATION] -
they'll probably be in a school or a hall or something like that."

Excellent advice, Peta. If I somehow wander into a bogus polling station on May 6th and get beaten to death by a politically-motivated psychopath I will blame YOU.

By the way, that website where you can register to vote is this one. Heaven knows why the BBC can't promote it - perhaps it's not mad or 'yoof-oriented' enough and would show the Peta Todd video up for the insane idea it truly is. The Peta Todd video can be found here.

Various people on various stupid things

The BBC recently asked a load of minor celebs what they'd do if they were Prime Minister for the day, and somehow managed to get less sense out of them than Heat got out of Alex Reid. Seriously.

Ricky Whittle would have a National Jelly Wrestling Day.

Sheree Murphy would give out free shoes.

Jamelia would force everyone to sing.

Emily Atack would find out whether aliens exist (not by ploughing more money into science - by sneaking around looking at all the secret Area 51 files, of course!).

Even the previously intelligent James May (JAMES MAY!) claimed that he'd declare "party time" in every UK park and public space. Because apparently that's what everyone wants. Bugger the economy - free booze all round.

When I first watched this clip (which is here if you really want to torture yourself), I misread the heading and assumed it was for Newsround, which has a target audience of 6-12 year olds. It's not - it's for NewsBEAT, part of the Radio 1 output, whose target audience is 16-24 year olds. Voting age, mainly.

Presumably every interviewee was told who they were talking to, and yet none of them could muster up an intelligent response. Why is this? Are celebs so terrified of seeming boring that they can't be serious just for a second? Or do they think this patronising drivel is what young people want to hear?

It would be nice if just one of them had said something clever - perhaps even something slightly political, or at least slightly interesting - something that might encourage a young voter to find out more about a topic. Clearly not.

What really bugs me is that some of them are intelligent, with quite strongly-held political views and probably a fair idea of what they'd do with a day of power. Why don't they share it with the rest of us? James May has nothing to lose by appearing fusty or boring, or even Conservative - DO IT, you coward. Get young people talking about politics - they'll thank you for it in the end. Jamelia presented a documentary a while back about the trade in hair extensions made from real human hair. It was rubbish, but it shows that she wants to be taken seriously - why not take this opportunity to say something about the exploitation you saw in India, Jamelia? DO IT.

When I was 17 (it was a very good year), back in the Blair / Britpop days, the NME asked a bunch of popstars to comment on what they'd do if they were in power for a day. They tried their best; they gave considered responses; most of them didn't have a clue about the intricacies of party politics but that was fine - neither did I. What they did have was a passion for democracy and for the role of politicians in creating a fairer society, and the balls to speak out. And the NME was one of a few publications that didn't treat its young readers like idiots. It declared Nicky Wire the PM of its "fantasy cabinet" and fired up thousands of readers' interest in politics, including mine.

Call me stupid, but I just don't think Holly Willoughby's tough stance on sugar-free chocolate bars is going to do the same thing for anyone.