Today Dave "Cammo" Cameron wheeled in professional cockney Michael Caine to help unveil a new thing called a "Tory policy". Heavens, they really are taking this election thing seriously.
Cammo would apparently like to introduce a cross between boot camp and spring break for post-GCSE kids. Voluntary, of course. So basically, a way in which parents can get rid of their moody teenagers for a couple of months if their moody teenagers are okay with it.
At today's press conference, Sir Michael said that the idea would help
young people who are "forgotten in this country" (by allowing their parents
to forget about them too). He added, "there is a very very hard core of [young]
people we have got to save."
"I'm here to represent young people", babbled Caine with his jowls
flapping about like poorly-ironed Union Jacks in the wind, "who, as I know
from personal experience, are deprived and ignored. And if you do that, they
will fight you." He also claimed that he'd be voting Tory in May. You
can watch part of his speech on the BBC website here.
Much as I dislike Caine, some of what he said made a bit of sense - I'm not sure he's putting his eggs in the right basket here, but at least he cares.
It's Cameron's rhetoric I really object to. The BBC quotes him thus: "Show me a gang taking drugs and I'll show you a group of people who have nothing to look forward to". Yeah well, show me a group of Tory MPs and I'll raise you a party that doesn't rely on cheap tricks and assume all disaffected young people would benefit from joining the army. I don't know where I'll find that party, exactly - I'm just saying.
